strangefishbigpond

Conventional wisdom would have us believe that life is full of ups and downs. For the self-help brigade, it’s all about how you “manage” the downs and don’t get too carried away by the ups. Universally it’s accepted that the ups are great and the downs are tough. But hang on a minute. It’s the wrong way around isn’t it? Certainly if you throw the veil of the long distance runner over it, where from personal experience I can tell you that the ups tend to be different levels of hell. Full on fire and brimstone (what is brimstone by the way?) when they just keep on going ad infinitum. Up, up, up but more likely to keel over than go “away”. The downs on the other hand are far more cruisy and enjoyable, you just coast down them, wind blowing through your ever receding hair, setting your stride confidently and let go, running smoothly and easily usually on autopilot. Yet in the world of work and life the ups are the good bits. And the downs? Well, anyone who’s read previous instalments of this blog, or has sampled a chunky helping of real life will know all about them I’m sure.

Weirdly, whilst discovering and devouring my mid life fetish for long distance running events, I found that I loved the ups. It was the only part of the long “bibbed” run where I actually overtook anybody, plodding on at my consistent one (slow) pace, overtaking far more youths and fancy dress merchants than my frame, age or running style suggested I should. So for this post I’m going to stick to the ups – not in running, but in life. Because let’s face it, it’s tough sometimes to focus on the good stuff – certainly without coming across as either some formulaic self appointed guru, peddling predictable and dishwater dull mantras, or as some arrogant “look at me” tosspot – and there are more than enough of them. I will aim to strike a middle balance – more pot than toss – as I cast my mind back over the years and pull out some of the highs from the bubbling cauldron of my years working and living in different places with different people, and try to understand them.

So to the ups. An early one for sure was way back at the start of my proper career. Before my career actually. I was lucky enough to cruise into a low second rate University place and to live a first rate life there, but I had no idea how tough it would be to get a “proper job” off the back of it. Far harder these days I know, but I think it is more known now, just like everything is. Back in the 90’s nothing was known, it was simply and innocently discovered, pondered, and coped with. Hence my inability to find a job after a long education came as a shock, and the high of finally (3 years later) landing a graduate position with a high flying, dynamic yet very real business was a big up – mainly relief at the time (particularly for my parents), but retrospectively, actually landing the job was a pretty significant achievement. Even back then I remember one phrase from one of the best people leaders in that firm at the time, who stunned me by telling me in the debrief, after I’d got the job, that I “had a lovely personality”. I’d never really had any sort of praise like that and certainly had no appreciation of it before, but it stuck with me and gradually helped build my confidence and self awareness. (RIP TC – and thanks.)

The mid nineties were a dream. Everything was a fireball of energy and positivity, travelling at a million miles an hour. Living my best life at work, at play. Music, sport, fun. At work I rose through the ranks without knowing how or why. And burning the candle at both ends like the candle was a gas soaked rag. The best of times for sure. A decade of ups with no recognition of how special they were at the time.

Those halcyon days couldn’t last though, and at work a new regime moved in, together with passion, heavy work ethic, accountability charts and full on nasally whines, and the fun soon went out of the window. Or at least the up front and open fun did, it morphed to smirks, smiles and private jokes about Bobby, Barry and Terry. For me it was time to move on and I enjoyed making the big bold move to an international role for the first time.

Looking back at the time I spent in Korea now, I view it with fondness and a fair chunk of awe at my ability to cope with it. I’ve highlighted in previous blogs just what a culture shock it was for me – and I was not alone, certainly in our company, in fact I was one of the minority that got through it relatively unscathed mentally and from a health perspective. Nothing against the Koreans. It was their patch after all, but certainly back then, it was not an easy place to adapt to. It was the biggest series of both personal and work related ups and downs I’ve had, and both were extreme. Survival and the memories of the people and the place sound a bit weak as the description of “ups”, but that really does cover it. Some of the best memories I have of people, places, and the many things and events that are quite simply nuts, are interlocked with my time in Korea. So gamsamnida Corea.

In Canada there was one real high, and I knew at the time that it was a big one – possibly the peak point of my career. I remember thinking it then, which is both quite intuitive but also a bit depressing given it was a decade or two ago. A huge project, with huge focus, that had not really got a good track record in terms of success at similar businesses. And we nailed it. I played my part leading it, but our success was just as much to do with the team and the circumstances. Three years of full on effort was rewarded by me being asked to privately present to the board of this privately owned behemoth – at a very private club, where I would present the successful story of how we had done it between main course and dessert (the palette cleanser was brought around during my ravings). An odd environment, for sure, but actually presenting a positive story and hearing the plaudits from the great and the good stayed with me a long time. One of the few times in my world that there is “an end”, and this up still feels worthy of the recognition it got and the pride I felt representing us all.

Finally to my time as CEO. Yes, despite my various barbs about the dream CEO role, there were many highs before the ceremonial dumping out on my arse. The biggest up was right at the start. After a tumultuous first week, where it became blindingly clear that my pre employment due diligence had not even covered the aperitif, things fairly quickly started to be clear in my mind that the trajectory could only be up. The best part was that others in the business – apart from the dodgers and weavers who either left or continued to dodge but in a less comfortable way – saw it exactly the same way. And it was real basic stuff as well. Talking with people about what they were up to. Digging into things to see if they needed help. Providing some sort of overall guides and direction of where we were heading. And telling people how we were doing. Not rocket science. People responded so positively it was mind blowing. And for probably 18 months pre covid, it drove us on, and just kept me heading upwards. If I had been running I’d have been pounding up that hill.

So those are the ups. There are more of course, but these are / were the chunkier ones. I’m hoping and feeling that they’re not done yet. Whilst life does throw stuff at you, there is a decent helping of choice in how you see it and react to it. These days I am strongly of the view that you can create enough ups yourself, if you go about stuff in the right way and trust your gut. It’s certainly working for me. I’d better stop before I verge on veering into mantra-land, but hopefully you get the gist. Bring on that long rolling hill. I’m just getting started…